We may earn revenue from the products available on this site and participate in affiliate programs. Learn more >
That’s it. We’re nearing the end of the biggest shopping holiday of the year and you’re running out of time spending tons of money on something you probably don’t need. We’ve spent the last five days rounding up the biggest discounts on things like TVs, computers, power tools, audio and tons of other useful stuff. That’s not what this article is about. This is about luxury.
The items on this list require big spending limits and endless cravings for luxury. So, pop open a can of original 4Loko (the rare kind before they had to take out all the caffeine), sit back in your weird-egg-looking chair, and check out these pricey Cyber Monday deals .
Kanlanth 1-2 Person Infrared Sauna, Hemlock Wood Low EMF FAR Infrared Sauna $1,799 (was $2,199)
Have you ever wished you could sweat all those bad thoughts and Dorito preservatives out of your body? This freestanding hemlock infrared sauna has 1,350 watt heaters inside that can increase the temperature up to 149 degrees. It’ll induce a perfect sweat that will have you glistening like a gelatinous tube of cranberry sauce popped fresh from the can.
Massage Chair Full Body Lounger – Zero Gravity with Heat and Shiatsu Massage $1,424 (was $1,899)
It looks like an escape pod from a futuristic spaceship, but this zero-gravity massage chair stays in place while destroying your deltas and diamonds in the best way possible. It features eight fixed massage points and 20 moving massage balls that apply ample pressure to crush even the most John Cena-like muscles.
BODEGA Wine Cooler 24 Inch, 154 Bottle Wine Cooler Dual Zone, Large Capacity Freestanding Wine Cooler $1,699 (was $2,209)
Yes, you could buy a few bottles of wine to keep in the fridge and buy more when they run out. Or you could buy this 24 inch wide refrigerator that can hold up to 154 bottles at a perfect temperature of between 40 and 55 degrees. That’s probably more bottles than most actual bodegas.
120-inch Class The Premiere LSP7T 4K Smart Laser Projector $2,499 (was $3,499)
Imagine this scene: You have friends watching war of stars. “We’ve seen war of stars 100 times, man. Can’t we see Tim Allen Santa’s new movie?” You’re confused about your film choices, but you look forward to replying, “We’ll watch war of stars on a laser projector. Laser!” Samsung’s high-end projector produces a 120-inch image on a wall or screen that’s bright enough to fight off ambient light. It’s better than going to the cinema.
Meze Audio Empyrean Open Magnetic Hybrid Planar Isodynamic Headphones $2,339 (was $2,999)
I don’t know Phil Collins personally, but I would imagine he would wear these headphones when trying to get into some tunes. He’d settled back in the massage chair from earlier, letting the planar magnetic drivers show off their exceptional clarity and untouchable dynamic range. They’re also open at the back, so they create an immersive soundstage that makes him feel like he’s right in the room with Doja Cat.
Roborock S7 MaxV Ultra Robot Vacuum & Mop, Automop Wash w/ Empty Wash Fill Station $1,059 (was $1,399)
Robot vacuums are needier than you might think. You must clean them and empty their bins. Roborock’s high-end vacuum cleans more than 3,000 square feet of mopping and vacuuming on a single charge. It has an AI-assisted obstacle avoidance system, so if your pet cougar (the pet I imagine rich people have) has an accident, it won’t run over a phone cord or cause a mess.
Commercial Grade Kingdom Inflatable Bouncy Castle 100% PVC with Blower and Slide $1,304 (was $1,499)
Did you know that you can buy a full-fledged bouncy castle? You can put it in your yard and just hop in it whenever you want, take video calls while doing front flips, eat dinner between jumps… all while wearing your shoes. Nobody could stop you. Think how excited the kid version of you would be.
Casper Sleep Wave Hybrid Mattress $2,171 (was $2,895)
Springs and foam are fine, but this mattress is filled with gelcaps that provide perfect support for your spine. So if you’ve been sitting in front of a laptop for the last 9 days in a row trying to get people good Black Friday deals and your attitude resembles that of Mr Burns or a shrimp, this will help.
Steelcase Gesture Office Chair – Compelling: Connect Graphite Fabric, Shell Back, Light on Light Frame, Polished Aluminum Base $863 (was $1,321)
What can you tell me about your computer chair? I can’t tell you much about mine. It smells funny (not bad, but funny), and if you smack your hand on the upholstery, a weird orange dust comes out. On the other hand, this Steelcase chair has all sorts of specs for you to rattle off. It has a cup back for extra support and a polished aluminum base for durability. The fabric color also has a cool name: Graphite. My chair color is called “the itchy wool suit I wore to my first communion”.